Published Thursday, October 01, 2009

When I grow up...

I'm ready to move on. I bet members of the U.S. Congress are, too.

We've spent months wrangling over health care with no results in sight. When that goose is cooked, our fearless (and brainless) congresspersons promise to change the weather by fining polluters and giving the money to folks like Al Gore, whose carbon trading business has netted Gore more than $100 million since 2000.

Enough already. We the People are bored. And we are ready to move on to something we all almost understand: Education.

This one ought to be a snap. We already waste billions on education with continued poor results in head-to-head testing against kids from other nations. We'll just do it again.

Obama will say we are doomed if kids can't do calculus by kindergarten, and all that's needed is more money. Congress will pass a new pork-packed bill, the money will mostly be wasted on consultants and, finally, some official will declare education "fixed."

At least until it's needed again to scare up more votes.

Which is the whole point of any legislation to begin with. Getting votes. The clowns in Congress don't care about making your lives better, and the sooner you realize that the better off you'll be. All they care about is getting reelected at any cost.

Why do they fight to stay in D.C? Not for the weather. They stay because the U.S. Congress is the only place on Earth where a total incompetent can hang around a few years, do absolutely nothing, and become a millionaire through graft, corruption and sweetheart deals on land and investments.

If Congress had a uniform, it would feature black and white stripes.

And most American don't even know it.

But that's not the case everywhere.

Over here we ask, "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" We should be wondering if we're smarter than a certain 6-year-old Chinese girl.

The young lady in question became a global sensation after her taped interview on Chinese TV made it to the Internet.

The host was interviewing Chinese students on the first day of school and asking the kids what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Some answers -- doctor, fireman, teacher -- were expected. Some weren't.

When the interviewer asked the 6-year-old what she wanted to be, the girl said, "When I grow up I want to be an official."

So far, so good. But then the interviewer asked, "What kind of official?"

Showing a wisdom far beyond her years, the little girl said, "A corrupt official, because corrupt officials have lots of things."

If nothing else, the answer showed the young lady was paying attention to Chinese leaders. For months, Chinese President Hu Jintao had warned that corruption was one of the greatest threats to the legitimacy of Communist Party rule.

Unless, of course, you are the one who intends to benefit from corruption. Like the little girl who wanted to become a "corrupt official."

After the interview aired, some whiners showed up to wring their hands and spout used platitudes. One moaning mama said, "The ugliness of life has already tainted the children -- how are we ever going to educate the next generation?"

The complainer has things all backwards. The six-year-old girl doesn't need to be educated. She needs to be a teacher.

And she needs to be in a classroom over here. If we can teach American first-graders that most members of Congress are self-serving crooks, that will be the greatest act of education reform ever.

Yes. It. Will.

(send your e-mail comments to: alex@newnan.com )