Published Sunday, October 05, 2008
Mentors are needed for Coweta students
The Times-Herald
Smokey Road Middle School needs about 30 men to step up and serve as mentors to some of their students, and Communities in Schools hopes they and others will show up at CIS' next mentor orientation session this month.
CIS is a nonprofit organization that works in partnership with area schools to help youngsters succeed in school. It typically holds mentor orientation sessions twice a month at the Central Educational Center at 160 Martin Luther King Drive in Newnan. Its next hour-long session is scheduled for 9 a.m. on Oct. 22 in Room 102.
To be a mentor in one of Coweta's schools, "there are no special qualifications, no special skills and no degree is required," said Michelle Cummins, CIS' volunteer coordinator. "This sounds hokey, but all you need is heart and dedication."
The program's objective is to improve the self-esteem and academic performance of a student in need by providing them with a mentor who can serve as his nonjudgmental friend, counsel and a positive role model.
Volunteers become mentors, upon consent of the student's parents and after criminal background checks and an application process that takes anywhere from 10-14 days. The mentors are assigned a student by the school's counselor.
The program asks that the volunteers, in turn, commit to a full year, meet with the child for at least one hour a week, such as during the child's lunch hour. Cummins said they are assigned to be that child's own personal cheering squad.
"What I like to tell people is that you are their mentor, not their tutor," she said.
While the mentoring may involve helping with school work, it also often involves teaching life skills. The visits are encouraged during school hours because of liability concerns.
While the program encourages developing a relationship -- which may involve attending some after-school activities -- mentors are also urged to set boundaries with relation to how much they get involved in the child's life outside of school hours.
"There are times that folks do other things, and we just pretend that we don't know about it," Cummins said, referring to mentors who attend sporting or other events with their mentee outside of school hours.
In the orientation sessions, Cummins reviews with the interested volunteers the mentor's role and what skills a mentor should develop with his student. She also offers some guidelines and tips on how to help their student, including how to troubleshoot some of the more common problem areas that may arise in developing the relationship.
Some of the concerns are when a mentor suspects signs of abuse or neglect. Mentors aren't to try and address those problems, but to notify the school counselor. She also warned prospective mentors to restrict any gifts to birthdays and Christmas, and to avoid temptations to buy their child clothes, shoes or other needed items.
"That is not your responsibility, but it's very tempting. Please do not ever give them money, and the older kids will ask for it. As much as they need it, that's not a pattern you need to get into," she said.
She encouraged the upcoming mentors to make sure they have something fun or jokes to share with their child. Cummins noted that building a child's trust is the most important aspect of the relationship, even though it may take awhile in some cases.
"Most of these children have never had an adult they can count on," she said.
At the orientation session, interested volunteers completed an application indicating their contact information, experience, references and preferences as far as what schools or grade levels interest them.
Besides Smokey Road Middle, mentors are also most needed at Ruth Hill Elementary, Welch Elementary and Eastside Elementary, according to Bonnie Garrison, CIS' director. These schools either don't have any mentors or there aren't enough to fill current requests.
Garrison said, ideally, Coweta's schools would each have 20 mentors, and the program would be about 600 volunteers strong. But instead the longtime program has been operating with the support of about 170 volunteers the past two years. The bulk of the mentors are in the county's 18 elementary schools.
Kevin Wimberly and David Lee Lloyd attended the Oct. 1 orientation session at CEC, and should be assigned their mentees at Atkinson and Arbor Springs Elementary by the end of the month. They were joined last Wednesday by others including working mothers, retirees and stay-at-home mothers.
Wimberly and Lloyd are retired military men with children attending Coweta schools. They have not only served as role models for their own children, but also as mentors to children in programs affiliated with their previous career or church affiliations. Their at-home businesses allow the flexibility to continue mentoring.
Both were encouraged by the principals at their school to become mentors since they often volunteered at the schools anyway, and enjoyed a constant presence at their children's schools.
Also in the session was Jeannette Higgins, the mother of four children ranging in age from seven to 14 years old. She is a former accountant. She was prompted to join the mentor program after she was approached by one of her daughter's classmates who told Higgins she didn't know her mother.
Christy Head, another busy and active mother of three teens and a 20-year-old, said that since she often had other children in tow anyway she felt being a mentor would be an appropriate fit for her.
Norma Roberts, an Edward Jones retiree, said she wanted to pair up with an elementary child because she gained so much from having a mentor in her childhood. Roberts, whose mother was an alcoholic, credited her principal at her Jacksonville, Fla. grammar school for helping her succeed.
"I wish I had thanked her then because by the time I got a chance to thank her, she was gone," she said. "She was a little old lady that had every pin in her hair in place."
Because of her mother's alcoholism, Roberts often came to school late or unprepared. The principal, Annie Beamon, regularly arranged to provide written excuses for Roberts so Roberts could continue her education. Beamon entered the agreement with Roberts after an initial attempt to contact Roberts' mother were rebuffed with a "mind your own business" response. Roberts said her mother eventually overcame the disease.
"My mother later lived to turn her life around, and regretted those decisions," she said.
Cummins explained that times haven't changed since Roberts was in school. Many children are facing similar problems, citing a recent example of a child who came to school tired because she wasn't able to sleep because of what happened in her household the night before.
"How is that child going to concentrate that day knowing Daddy's in jail and Mom stayed up crying all night," Cummins said.
The former school counselor said while high school students are at the point in their lives where they are "too cool" to want a mentor, she's aware of some who are at risk because of circumstances that are also out of their control.
"I know that we do have two students in high school who go home to meth-addicted parents, and what kind of home is that for them," she said.
Not all students suffer from such dire circumstances involving alcohol, drugs or criminal activity, however. Many times Cummins explained families are suffering from difficult times because situations in their family change. A child may become a "latch-key kid" or have no one at home for long periods of time when one or two parents work multiple jobs. Sometimes, Cummins explained, the parent just needs the extra help because other events or another family member needs the attention.
Cummins said individuals with full-time jobs can also serve as mentors. They either come during their lunch hours or have employers who support their effort by allowing them more flexibility with their work schedule.
While applicants undergo federal and state criminal background checks, Cummins said this shouldn't be a deterrent to those who fear some minor infraction from years back may disqualify them.
"We don't want that to discourage people," she said, advising if the interested person is concerned about a possible "red flag," they should contact Coweta Schools human resources director Marc Guy.