Published Friday, February 01, 2013
I was mad.
And then I felt hurt.
And then I was mad again.
This is not about what happened, but more of how I handled it. I stewed for a while but had to stop stewing so I could cry a little. I lost sleep, staring at the wall, hashing it over in my heart and mind. I actually forgot to eat a few times. That’s how I knew it was getting bad.
What I wanted to do was move on, get over it and get back to my normal self. I asked Ninja Man how guys do it. He told me that they just do. I rolled my eyes.
And then he said he was praying for me.
As the words left his lips there was a soft stirring in my heart. This was the same heart that was furiously battling for days, the one that was beyond exhausted from the feelings of hurt. It was the heart that replaced the blessings in my life with sadness and pain.
And then just knowing he was praying for me. Just knowing that God was in this, I realized I hadn’t earnestly turned it over to God. Ninja Man had to turn it over for me, and that’s what this is about.
Intercessory prayer is my thing. I know it just as sure as I sit at my computer typing in this moment. I know it just as sure as the breath I just took. I know that God has given me the gift of interceding on behalf of others, praying for known and unknown needs.
I pray for family, neighbors, friends in Bible study, friends who post their prayer needs on FaceBook. I pray for people who may not know they even need prayer. The guy walking down a highway, a woman in the grocery store wrestling with a cranky toddler, doctors about to perform surgery, the mailman who delivered a box just this morning and clearly hates his job.
I don’t ask for God to make things easier, because He knows what they need. I just pray that he will lift their hearts so that they may desire to know Him, especially at this time in their lives. I ask that if they already know Him that they will desire to know Him better and to trust His word.
And yet, there are times in my life that I get so wrapped up in the moment that I fail to pray for myself.
“I’m praying for you,” he said, gently. And my heart beat a bit stronger.
What greater gift could there be than to be lifted up for a healing of the very soul?
And I was able to fall asleep that night. The next morning I was able to wake up, open my windows and feel the breeze of the day. This house that had been shut as tight as my heart, was open, curtains billowing, my favorite music playing in the background.
I was mad, hurt and mad again. But that was then. Now I was truly healing.
Funny thing is, on this new day I was able to ask God for forgiveness for those days when I was so upset. Even better, I was able to intercede with prayer for the other person.
And so I prayed. Earnestly, lovingly and with a forgiving heart.
I took a few deep breaths and slowly released, felt the cleansing fresh air going through the lungs, calming the body and mind. And I thanked God that this was over.
My husband prays for me everyday, but just hearing it and knowing that someone lifted me up made all the difference in this world. God is a healing God. We just need to realize that one thing and receive it.
Kathy Bohannon is a weekly contributor to the Newnan Times-Herald. Kathy can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org .