Published Friday, November 09, 2012
The time change always gets the best of me for a day or so.
I live in a house with several time zones. Ninja Man has five clocks in the common area, which consists of the kitchen and living room. Two of his clocks are very special to him. One is a gift from the kids and me – a mantle clock that has a beautiful chime – and the other is a wall clock that he found on top of a trash pile.
My disclaimer about Ninja Man and a trash pile is that as a rule, he would never stop to root through such a thing unless he spots a great clock from a distance and therefore must pick it up and bring it home.
I was a little freaked out as he climbed back into the truck looking victorious over his find.
“What if it has bugs?” I asked. He assured me he would thoroughly inspect it before bringing it into the house. That made it a little better but I continued, “What if something gross is on it?” He promised to wipe it down with Lysol before it would be allowed inside. Beyond suggesting it was haunted, stolen or discarded by mistake, I had no other argument and upon arrival at home Ninja Man took it to the garage.
He tinkered with it off and on for a few hours and – no surprise, this man can do anything – by late afternoon, the found treasure was mounted on the wall and ticking like, well, like a clock.
Ninja Man called me into the living room about a minute before the hour. We stood together, waiting for the moment. It chimed. He beamed.
I had no doubt this clock would chime. We don’t call him Ninja Man for nothing. He comes from a long line of Bohannon men who honestly could make anything from airplanes to toasters work like a charm.
The only problem with the new clock chiming was that the old mantle clock also chimed on the hour. These two little treasures are about 12 feet apart and 99 percent of the time they are at least two minutes off. Between the two of them we have consecutive ding-dong concerts that last quite a while, especially at noon and midnight.
Two other clocks in the same area are battery operated and never, ever keep up with one another. Because of the necessary winding of the old clocks and the battery issues of the others, I favor the digital clock on the stove and the clock on my phone. On a daily basis I live in five time zones, depending on which clock I may glance at. I’m used to it and the only time it gets weird is when someone comes to visit.
“Oh my,” a friend once said, “It’s already three?” She was looking at the mantle clock. “No, it’s only noon,” I said, glancing at my phone. She then realized that every clock she looked at had a different time and the chimers were both stopped entirely. “It’s a Ninja Man thing,” I explained, and she understood because she remembered when he put car parts in the oven and I unknowingly baked them at 350°F for 35 minutes.
Add this to the fact that our bedside alarm clock is set seven – or twelve – or who knows – minutes fast and it’s a miracle I get anywhere on time.
Throw in Daylight Savings Time and I’m a mess for days. This time I got lucky. It’s day four and Ninja has yet to wind those chimers. Currently it is 9:40, 8:15, 8:30, 8:42 and 9:15 (more than one is p.m. I’m sure) at my house. I’ve been up since 6:00 - or maybe 6:20 – and I’m looking forward to a little nap on the living room sofa. I figure I have this afternoon before Ninja Man starts winding clocks again. I’m looking forward to taking advantage of some real “quiet time.”
Kathy Bohannon is a weekly contributor to The Newnan Times-Herald. Kathy can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org .