Published Friday, August 17, 2012

Doesn't take much for an excuse

Now that school has started once again, parents will have to tune up their skills at writing excuses for their children.

When a child misses school for one or more days, parents are required in most school districts to send a written excuse as an explanation for the student’s absence from school.

Although probably not intended to be amusing by the parent, the excuses are often hilarious, as is true of the following samples:

“Johnny was absent yesterday because of a sore trout.”

One could not blame the teacher for suspecting that there was something “fishy” about this excuse.

“Please excuse Freddie for being out yesterday because he had the ‘fuel.’”

Two other excuses are on the drastic side, to the say the least:

“Please excuse Janie for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.”

“My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take ‘fiscal’ education. Please excuse him.”

We smile at these excuses for children, but we must admit that adults are past masters at excusing themselves.

I read somewhere that the annual convention of the Hypochondriac Society was held last month, but all the members phoned in excuses and said they were too sick to attend.

It was the same story with the Procrastinators Convention.

They wanted to get together for a meeting, but couldn’t get around to it.

But the fact remains: “Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: “It might have been.”

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