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Alex McRae Columnist

Published Sunday, September 25, 2011

New, improved and ... tasty

America may have its faults, but for as long as anyone can remember, the Land of the Free has also been the Land of Innovation.

An American didn't invent the car, but it took Henry Ford to figure out how to make them cheap enough for every family to afford.

An American didn't invent cheese or ground meat, but food historians credit Lionel Sternberger of Pasadena, Calif., as creating the first cheeseburger between 1924 and 1926.

And talking of world changers, Americans also created the polio vaccine, the personal computer and Hip Hop music.

Not all American inventions changed the world, of course. In fact, people are still wondering why anyone invented (much less thought of) the Slinky, Hula Hoop or Mood Ring.

But inventors keep coming up with new ways to grab our attention and money. You'd be amazed at some gadgets now in the pipeline.

One of my favorites is the Ad Husher, which automatically mutes the volume on TV commercials. The screamers in used car commercials might see sales suffer, but this is one sliver of silence most of us would treasure.

An intrepid inventor -- obviously four-eyed like me -- is working on eyeglasses wipers, like the wipers on your car. And what office cubicle dweller wouldn't love to get their hands on The Boss Detector, an electronic marvel that senses the presence of the office chief from 10 feet away and automatically switches the computer screen from Facebook or Angry Birds to something suitable to the work environment, like a spreadsheet.

As the recession lingers, inventors are looking for ways to breathe new life, or any life at all, into businesses whose profits and prospects are fading fast. And these days, no business is suffering more than the newspaper industry.

As recently as the 1980s, owning a newspaper was like owning a platinum mine. Then along came the Internet to siphon off readers and profits faster than you can say Yellow Journalism.

Papers have fought back gamely, but with news available for free on thousands of websites, print purveyors are constantly looking for new innovations their digital counterparts can't match.

Makers of a product called "Taste-it-Notes" think they've found it. According to recent web reports, Taste-it-Notes--made by First Flavors, Inc.-- are "peel and-taste strips which can be added to a page and dissolve right onto a reader's tongue."

Yum.

The secret is allegedly in the ink, which officials claim can be "flavored" to duplicate many tastes and smells. Some people enjoy eating bacon while reading the morning paper. Now they can just lick the paper and avoid all that cooking and cleanup. Imagine the possibilities.

"Newspaper executives are increasingly interested in innovative solutions," said Jay Minkoff, President and CEO of First Flavor. "We are extremely excited about the potential of Taste-it Notes and our Peel 'n Taste flavor strips to engage newspaper readers in flavorful advertising. We believe this type of sensory experience helps companies connect to their customers in a completely new and innovative way - and according to research reports conducted by our past clients, it works!"

Maybe so, but I'm not sure consumers are ready to lick the morning paper, no matter how good it smells. There's no telling where that wad of newsprint was before it arrived at the door.

And what if there's a mixup? Imagine an unsuspecting "reader" licking the sports section hoping for a taste of Eggo waffles and hitting a misplaced strip of Alpo-flavored ink?

Certain newspapers have long been accused of showing bad taste. Now they'll just taste bad. I'm not sure which is worse.

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(Send your e-mail comments to: alex@newnan.com)

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