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Alex McRae Columnist

Published Sunday, September 23, 2012

Mitt makes a Boo Boo

In these perilous times, when the American economy is hanging by a made-in-China thread and the Arctic ice cap is shrinking faster than the U.S credit rating and the Middle East mullahs are increasing the mayhem quotient almost daily, I have tried mightily not to write snarky stuff that might disturb readers already drifting toward the treacherous shoals of despair.

Not any more.

When the blandest guy in America, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, decides it’s appropriate to discuss TV starlets, all bets are off.

This unwholesome incident occurred shortly after Romney fired his grownup media advisor and hired a blogger from northern Arkansas to book his TV appearances.

Faster than you could say stupid, Romney showed up on “Live! With Kelly and Michael,” which used to be “Live! With Regis and Somebody Else.”

Maybe Mitt thought appearing on “Live!” would show how he understands We, the little people. So would a show about meth addiction and social diseases, but I don’t want to watch it.

Which brings us to Honey Boo Boo and her family. And the fact that America can’t get enough of the smash TV show “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.”

In case you (are the only person left in the world who) didn’t know, Honey Boo-Boo is 7-year-old Alana Thompson, who rose to stardom by strutting her stuff in the hit TV show “Toddlers & Tiaras.”

Honey Boo Boo was such a fan favorite, the network created an entire show around her and her family down in McIntyre, Georgia. It’s quite a group.

Honey Boo Boo’s mama, June, is a serial fornicator who doesn’t care who fertilizes her eggs as long as they bring home the bacon. That explains why Honey Boo Boo has three older sisters by three different fathers, none of them Honey Boo Boo’s. Honey Boo Boo’s daddy—the current breadwinner—is a nice man named Sugar Bear.

The show depicts the family in a way that makes the north Georgia extras in “Deliverance” look like rocket scientists.

Unfortunately, it hasn’t been that hard, since Honey Boo Boo’s family members fit snugly into a certain stereotype. A few more wheels on the family home and the caricature would be complete.

But to be honest, there are families like Honey Boo Boo’s all across America. If you don’t believe it, spend an afternoon in south Detroit or East Los Angeles.

The scary part is, “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” is a hit. Stardom has already caused family problems. Mama June recently told an interviewer that “it takes a lot longer to get out of Walmart.”

And now Honey Boo Boo is part of the presidential campaign. During his appearance on “Live!” Romney was asked who he liked better, Honey Boo Boo or Snooki, the star of Jersey Shore who just won “Celebrity Unwed Mother of the Week” honors.

Instead of pleading ignorance of such TV garbage, Romney took the bait. Worse, he picked the slut over the Southern Belle.

“I’m kind of a Snooki fan,” Romney said. “Look how tiny she’s gotten. She’s lost weight. She’s energetic. Just her spark-plug personality is kind of fun.”

Southerners have not been so deeply insulted since Joy Behar mocked Paula Deen’s accent (and fondness for butter) on “The View.”

Whether dissing Honey Boo Boo in favor of Snooki will cost Romney Southern votes remains to be seen. But, if nothing else, it proves my friend David Boyd’s long-held assertion that “you don’t have to be poor to be white trash.”

Take two bowls of grits, Mitt, and call me in the morning. You may not have us in your heart, but at least you’ll have some South in your mouth. Can’t hurt.

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  10. Obituary: Herbert Lee Emory, 61, of Douglasville, Georgia, passed away Saturday, April 12, 2014. He was born April 2, 1953 in Transylvania County, North Carolina, the son of Mrs. Joyce Sanders Emory and the late Mr. John Lee Emory. In 1971, he left his home in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina, and moved to Atlanta where he attended the Atlanta School of Broadcasting and National School of Broadcasting. He was a longtime WSB Radio and Channel 2 Action News traffic reporter, and was referred to as “Captain Herb.” He had been with WSB Radio and Channel 2 Action News since 1991. Captain Herb has served as an Atlanta traffic reporter since 1971. He previously was a News/Traffic reporter from 1978 through 1991 with WSNE (Cumming), WDGL (Douglasville), WFOM (Marietta), WACX (Austell), WQXI-AM, 94Q-Star 94, Georgia Network News. Over the years, he spent many hours a week in a helicopter hovering over metro Atlanta’s traffic and was known as a friend to the Atlanta commuters. He had a great love for radio, NASCAR and community involvement. He hosted more charity events than any other WSB personality, including hosting the annual Toys for Tots fundraiser at Fred’s Barbecue House, Lithia Springs. Captain Herb hosted and produced the WSB Speed Shop auto racing, with his wife, Karen, from 1993 until 2011. He has earned at least 15 First Place Awards, including two Green Eyeshades, for news and traffic reports from the Georgia Associated Press Assoc. and other media organizations. He served as President of the Georgia Associated Press Broadcasters Association (GAPBA) in 1990/91 and served on the Georgia Radio Hall of Fame Board of Directors. He was inducted into the Georgia Radio Hall of Fame in 2008 and received the inaugural Excellence in Motorsports Journalism Award in 2012. He had a great love for Douglas County and was always willing to volunteer for community events, particularly those involving children, the military and veterans. He had a great respect for all First Responders across the nation and had a special friendship with members of the Douglas County Sheriff Department. He served on the Friends of Sweetwater Creek State Park Board of Directors, and was a member of the Douglas County Animal Control Advisory Board. Captain Herb most recently emceed the homecoming for Olympic Medalist Elana Meyers and helped escort the "Remembering Our Fallen" exhibit with the American Legion Riders to the Douglas County Courthouse. He will be greatly missed by his family, coworkers, friends, neighbors and the community. In addition to his father, he was preceded in death by his son, Joseph Lee Emory his father-in-law, William Martinell; and uncle, Rev. Joseph Sanders. He is survived by his beloved wife of 24 years, Karen Emory of Douglasville; his mother, Joyce Sanders Emory of North Carolina; aunt, Doris C. Sanders of Florida; cousins, Loriane and John Lambert of Indiana and Debra Jo and Frank Bright of Florida, and J.J. Bright of Florida; mother-in-law, Joan Martinell of Newnan; sisters-in-law and brother-in-law, Lynn Wilson of Alpharetta, Patty and John Baker of Ft. Collins, CO, Robyn Adams of Senoia, and Bill and Sherry Martinell of Eugene, OR; five nephews, Ryan Wilson of Alpharetta, Russell and Kate Baker of Fort Collins, CO, Matthew Baker of Tampa, FL, Bryan Baker of Aspen, CO, and Patrick Baker of Denver, CO; one niece, Tayler Schnoor of Senoia; and adopted aunt, Geneva Gold of Newnan. Captain Herb’s impact was so eloquently stated by his colleague WSB’s Clark Howard: “He died of a heart attack, which is so ironic. This was a man who had more heart than anyone who I’ve ever had the privilege to know.” Anyone who had contact with Captain Herb, either in person or on the radio, will feel the loss of this great man. His family extended beyond his relatives especially to those members of the Douglas County Sheriff’s Department and his WSB Family, who he loved so much. His love of his family, friends and community will live on in the hearts of all those who ever had contact with Captain Herb. The family will receive friends at Jones-Wynn Funeral Home in Douglasville Tuesday, April 15, from 3 until 5 p.m. and from 7 until 9 p.m. Private Family Memorial Services will be conducted. His WSB Family will conduct a Celebration and Memorial for the public at a later date. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions in memory of Captain Herb Emory may be made to the Douglas County Animal Shelter, 8700 Hospital Drive, Douglasville, GA 30134 – http://www.eventbrite.com/e/donation-in-honor-and-memory-of-captain-herb-emory-registration-9364175501 or A Gift of Love Services, 3870 Longview Drive, Douglasville, GA 30135 –http://www.agiftofloveservices.org . Captain Herb would want everyone to keep a smile on your face and song in your heart. Messages of condolence may be sent to the family at www.jones-wynn.com .
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