Published Sunday, December 16, 2012
It goes without saying that many young mothers with small children “helping them” make and bake a Christmas cake face unusual challenges.
This column or “recipe” is sympathetically dedicated to them:
Crack and pick out nuts. Remove shells from baby’s mouth.
Get out bowls, pans and ingredients. Remove blocks, toy autos and dolls from kitchen table.
Measure two cups of flour. Take toddler’s hands out of flour. Wash flour off baby’s face. Put flour, baking powder and salt in sifter. Take dustpan and sweep up pieces of bowl child knocked on floor. Get another bowl and start again.
Answer doorbell. Rush back to kitchen. Remove baby’s hands from bowl and wash them. Answer phone and do not reply to husband who calls to ask if you and the children are having fun together in the kitchen.
Remove entire box of salt poured into greased pan.
Look for guilty child.
Grease another pan.
Answer door again.
“No, we do not need another set of books on how to raise children.”
Return to kitchen and find little boy on top of the table. Remove hands from bowl and him from the table.
Take up greased pan and discover layer of nutshells in it.
Grab for baby girl, who runs, knocking bowl off table. Mop kitchen floor, and wash table, walls and pans.
Call bakery. Order cake. Lie down. Stare at ceiling and try to concentrate on the joys of Christmas.