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Jim Griffith Columnist

Published Friday, August 03, 2012

Woman shoots husband due to grammar

As you already know, we live in a trigger-happy world. People would just as soon shoot you as to look at you.

Come to think of it, that is not an altogether correct statement. In this crazy, mixed up world, truth is, many had rather shoot you than to look at you.

For example, a woman in California said the reason she shot her husband was that he used bad grammar.

My first thought was, please, lady. Surely you didn’t shoot him because he used incorrect grammar.

There are many men -- husbands, in fact, who could honestly say: “It is a good thing she didn’t marry me. With my grammar, she would have plugged me right between the eyes, even before I could carry her across the threshold on our wedding day.”

I have met and become friends with some of the finest people I have ever known who did not speak good English, much less use correct grammar. The way they put words together with our familiar Southern accent, they might have needed an interpreter if they had visited England.

Anyway, it’s difficult to say exactly what caused this tragic shooting event to take place.

Apparently, the wife felt that it was extremely important to use good grammar when speaking and perhaps her husband did not.

For the umpteenth time she corrected him, and then to further irritate her he replied, tongue-in-cheek, “I don’t know why you are so upset. I ain’t never made but one grammatical error in my life, and when I seen I done it, I taken it right back.”

Then she shot him. Too bad there wasn’t a better understanding of the truth of the words:

“What people say with their lives is far more important than what they say with their mouths.”

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