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Published Sunday, December 04, 2011 in Opinion

The changing season

By Alex McRae

The Newnan Times-Herald

To remind myself of what I like about Christmas in America, I often investigate how other places celebrate the season. This year I made the mistake of checking Christmas activities in Bethlehem, Israel, where Jesus made his earthly debut.

Sure enough, there are tourist sites galore in Bethlehem, most centered around Christmas. Christians from around the globe eager to see the spot where Jesus was born love to visit the Church of the Nativity -- supposedly built atop Jesus' makeshift maternity ward. They can also view a generic "field," just like the one where the Bible says shepherds kept watch over their flocks.

Sounded swell to me, until I read the section of a tourist website reminding visitors that Bethlehem is controlled by the Palestinian Authority and tourists must pass through a security checkpoint to enter the city.

Visitors are then advised to enjoy the original Christmas sites from the comfort of a tour bus equipped with -- get ready -- bulletproof windows.

I figured if Bethlehem had changed that much maybe it was time for dinosaurs like me to bite the bullet (in tribute to Bethlehem) and explore how much American Christmas customs had changed.

I began with visits to Santa. I don't know when this tradition started, but it was in full swing decades ago when my mother plopped me in a red-suited fat guy's lap in a New Orleans department store.

The deal was, you gave Santa your Christmas list, mom gave Santa some loot for a picture and everyone went home happy.

Of course, not every Santa sitting had a happy ending. In the film classic "A Christmas Story," the young hero, Ralphie, tells Santa he wants a Red Ryder BB gun. Santa literally kicks Ralphie down a slide while growling, "You'll shoot your eye out, kid."

Luckily, modern Santas aren't so squeamish about guns. In fact, the Scottsdale Gun Club in Scottsdale, Ariz., is drawing huge crowds by inviting kids to come by and pose with Santa while holding the firearm of the child's choice, from small pistols to machine guns to grenade launchers.

The pictures are expected to become the most memorable Christmas cards of the season.

Of course, it wouldn't be Christmas without an anti-Christ figure around. This year that role is filled nicely by a star of the TV reality show "Jersey Shore." I haven't seen a single episode, but gather it documents the lives of several New Jersey young people who live on eternal spring break while preparing for a life behind bars.

A "Jersey Shore" favorite is Nicole Polizzi, better know as "Snooki." Snooki's bust size and IQ are interchangeable, but her wit and charm have made her such a fan favorite that "Snooki" Christmas tree ornaments, complete with platform shoes and heaving cleavage, are now available for "Jersey Shore" fans.

And to think, a few years ago I was appalled when a London wax museum put up a nativity scene with Mary and Joseph played by soccer icon David Beckham and his wife, Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham.

On the bright side, MTV has yet to schedule a "Jammin' With Baby Jesus" Christmas concert featuring Lady Gaga in a maternity dress dancing around a manger. The way things are going these days, that's reason enough to give thanks.

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(Send your email comments to: alex@newnan.com )

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