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Published Tuesday, November 25, 2008 in Close-Up

'Losing soldiers in Iraq almost killed me'

By Elizabeth Melville

The Newnan Times-Herald

(Editor's Note: This is the fourth and last installment in a series spotlighting some of the soldiers with Georgia National Guard's 48th Infantry Brigade scheduled to deploy to Afghanistan in summer 2009. The deployment will affect, among others, Georgia National Guard's Bravo Company Second Battalion based in Newnan at Jackson-Pless National Guard Armory. The Second Battalion consists of men and women from around this region of the state.)

How do you eat an elephant?

Sgt. First Class James Anthony Ross, 41, will tell you the answer to that riddle is "one bite at a time."

How does Ross cope with the loss of two soldiers in Iraq in 2005? One inch at a time.

"Losing soldiers in Iraq almost killed me," admits Ross. "Then I would realize I was an inch better than I was before. I'm still moving forward that one inch at a time from 2005. These people are not only my soldiers, but my friends."

Ross, of Gray, Ga., is a military careerist. His 21-year military service began because he needed a part-time job. Ross also possesses a love of country that led him to the Army.

"We get more or less caught up in our own little worlds," said Ross. "I love being a part of a team -- a part of something bigger than me."

Ross got the word that after four tours of duty overseas, he will not be deploying with his unit to Afghanistan next year. Instead, he will be "taking care of the unit's business here." He was initially glad he wouldn't be going -- especially since he has a 5-year-old and 14-year-old -- but, now, "the closer the day comes, the more apprehensive I get about not going."

Ross feels a great responsibility -- "the weight of the world" -- to care for the soldiers in his unit.

"I'm at the age where some of the 18-year-old kids have mothers my age or younger saying 'please take care of my son,'" said Ross. He plans to talk frequently with his soldiers via Web cameras throughout the deployment.

Ross served in Operation Just Cause in Panama in 1989 and seven months in Saudi Arabia beginning in 1990. The first time he saw combat was his six-month deployment to Bosnia in 2001, during which he patrolled and policed the country. In Iraq in 2005, the 48th Brigade participated in combat operations all over the country. Ross was there when Newnan's Sgt. Michael "Mike" Stokely was killed on Aug. 16, 2005, when a roadside bomb exploded near his dismounted patrol in Baghdad.

Knowing what to expect doesn't alleviate any of the stress of a deployment for Ross, who says -- "it's never less anxiety, it's always more." The most important piece of advice he gives the unit's combat leaders is to guard against complacency at all times and at all costs. "When you get complacent, you get killed -- or someone else gets killed."

To the infantry soldiers, Ross reminds them to do the right thing when there's nobody around. And that means cleaning weapons, doing their own pre-combat inspections and continually preparing themselves. To the officers, he tells them to war plan everything and always know their assets.

Ross knows how it feels to miss family members while serving in harsh conditions abroad. But he also knows how to take strength from those loved ones. "My own kids are extremely proud of me, but they're extremely happy that I don't have to go this time."

* Twenty-three-year-old Sgt. Matthew Kellerman knows the dangers of war, because he was injured in combat and taken out of Iraq in the same explosion that killed Stokely. Kellerman came home after three months in Iraq with shrapnel in his right foot and feelings of guilt in his heart.

Kellerman says he experienced the gamut of emotions ranging from guilt to helplessness, and many others. Kellerman, of Griffin, has been in the National Guard for five years. He was in college when he decided to join both for the financial assistance and because he had friends going in the service.

Kellerman is married and has a four-year-old daughter and a one-year-old daughter. "The second deployment was expected," he said. "My thoughts were about my wife and kids and how hard it will be for them."

When he told his wife it was "an emotional situation." "She was upset and worried, especially after what happened the first time," he said. "You also miss so much of the kids' lives. In the four years I've been married, I've been home one anniversary. This is another anniversary that I'll miss."

Luckily, the Kellermans have family members nearby that will support them at home while Sgt. Kellerman is serving in Afghanistan. Kellerman will take strength in "the connection" he has with the guys in the unit. And during his down time, he does activities to take his mind off the war, like listening to music and watching DVDs.

Besides his family and friends, Kellerman will miss watching college football, driving a car and going fishing. He fears the unexpected, and not knowing where he'll be or what's going to happen. For now, though, he's focused on spending as much time as possible with his loved ones.

* For as long as 23-year-old Specialist David Lanebeck can remember, he's wanted to be in the military. He proudly joined the Army two years ago because, according to Lanebeck, it's "the most honorable profession in the world."

Lanebeck grew up in Macon and recently moved to Newnan. He's single and this will be his first deployment. His only goal is to "make it back home."

Lanebeck doesn't know what to expect in Afghanistan. He plans to focus on the job and "making sure everybody gets back." Part of the job for Lanebeck is to "put off feeling anything" so that he can "come to that crossroads and take it." He adds that he'll know what he's feeling when he boards the plan to Afghanistan.

His friends and family are his support and they plan to keep him updated with pictures, letters and care packages. Lanebeck's going to try to use the phone and the Internet as much as possible to stay connected. "Prayers would be nice, too," said Lanebeck.

When he returns from Afghanistan, he plans to take "a long, overdue vacation."

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